Sunday, September 30, 2007

because Alton Brown fans have nothing better to do?!?

Used to be I'd get hits to my blog from all sorts of interesting google searches: "stinging while peeing," "odds of getting pregnant if the condom breaks," "how to make a kimono," "tricks on how to settle a baby withdrawing from Methadone..."

Now it's all Alton Brown all the time: "Alton Brown granola bar recipe," "Alton Brown power trip," "Alton Brown dried fruit..." What gives? That was ONE POST, people! I am about WAY more than Alton Brown. I am about 1% Alton Brown and 75% Red Sox and 24% Gyn ambulatory care. And STD testing/treatment. I'm sure that there are other searches you can run on google that would result in hits to this blog. For some reason, the Alton Brown fan base is the only contingent coming here to take a look. Damned frustrating.

Sunday, September 23, 2007


...our new outfielder about to flash us...

Didn't catch this until about the third time through the video (and I was showing it to my kids no less!)


Thursday, September 20, 2007

Channeling my inner sailor...

J. this a.m. opined that being a Sox fan has made him a better Christian: teaching him humility, faith in adversity, et c. I can claim no such effects... I was chatting at work t'other day with a friend (Yankees fan) who was razzing me about one of the Sox's latest losses. The one featuring a lead spectacularly blown by an 8th inning pitcher who will remain nameless (but if you mispronounced his name, it would sound like "gag me"). "I can't believe this guy," says I, "he totally sucked ass!"

It occurred to me that I'd never actually used this phrase before, but it seemed apt. Checking out the SoSH discussion boards today, I could see the sentiment was shared by others, with one thread asking (in French, no less) why he "sucks dogs balls" for the Sox while performing considerably better before being traded to us.

Some situations really call for filth when you speak about them. Just a standard F-bomb is not sufficient. And you can generally recognize these situations and differentiate them from a situation that would call for, say, taking the Lord's name in vain. In fact, it would be an interesting linguistic experiment to analyze and list the characteristics of a situation that most people would use their filthiest language to discuss. But it's probably been done.

So that's what the Sox bring out in me -- language I have never used, metaphors I have never turned. Earlier in the season, another friend from work (our sole Tigers fan) was gingerly asking how I was doing after we'd lost 3 straight to Detroit. It didn't even phase me -- I practically hadn't noticed. Not like last August, when we lost 5 straight in one weekend to the Yankees. That messed me up for weeks afterward. I told her "that was like getting beaten by the guy your girlfriend dumped you for because he had a nicer car or something."

Really, I have no basis for making that comparison (I've never had a girlfriend dump me for anyone -- nice car or not), but once more, it seemed apt. Then I see the guy on SoSH that posts with the signature "rooting for the Yankees to win is like rooting for Brad Pitt to get laid."

We're talking about baseball, right? How does sex come into it? (maybe if I understood guy culture well enough I'd recognize that sex always comes into it?) I find myself fascinated by how we choose our language around these thing & how it all works. Seriously, if I didn't have to work for a living, I'd probably write a thesis about it.

Now C. has someone (Yankees fan) on the school bus that gives her a hard time when the Sox lose. It pisses her off, and she says "I don't even know why it bothers me, I don't care all that much about baseball, I've only watched like 3 games..." but her friends tell her she doesn't act like she doesn't care about it. At least today I could tell her if he got on her case today, I could guarantee her that we will not lose tonight, and the Yankees will not win. Tomorrow morning, we'll still be ahead by a game and 1/2.

Thank God for nights off!