where was I?

I really should make more of an effort to get over here and write something every now and then.

Officially resigned at work -- I'll be working through Christmas weekend, then heading out for a couple of days in MA before I start the new job on Jan 3. I've been hearing a lot of "it's always the good ones that go" which is very humbling. Also getting thanks for not bailing before the holiday. Hey, I can use the holiday pay...

So I'm down to two more overnights to work. I've been pulling 2 or 3 all-nighters a week since C was a baby -- nine long years. I don't know how much permanent brain damage I've done to myself, and how much is reversible. I really don't know what the world will look like after I've had a couple of months with adequate sleep. I don't know what I'll look like -- I might evolve or something, maybe grow wings. My hair will probably stay gray though.

The sad thing is, I love almost everything about working nights. The people are the best -- we really bond and work as a team like no other shift does -- much less of the politics you get on days. I love the tasks, which are more baby-focused at night -- kids come out to the nursery while moms (hopefully) sleep. Working 12 hour days kill me, because you can do two assigments worth of work -- you can start out with postpartum patients, discharge a couple, then hand off to do labor, or pick up more admissions. Working 12 hour nights feels much easier. If you start off with posties, they're not going anywhere in the middle of the night, so you can settle in, get some legwork done early, then retire to the nursery to hold babies, catch up with coworkers, set things up for the next days' discharges... Really the only thing I don't like about nights is staying up all night. Not that the nursery is all fun and games either. If you get a night where no one is sleeping, you leave in the morning just a little bit crazier than when you came in. Then there's that special sense of frustration that comes with being in the nursery by yourself (well, by yourself with a bunch of babies) and not being able to get out to take care of your patients. If you've got a couple that's a breastfeeding challenge, you don't just run a baby out to mom to eat, you run a baby out to mom and spend half an hour in the room leaning over the bed trying to get the baby to latch on. Meanwhile, everyone else is waiting for you...

But enough. Every job in the world has its frustrations, even if it's the thing you most want to do. Even if I got to stay home with my kids...